The Chaos

The Chaos

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Thankfulness, Day 6

I have battled whether or not this post will be considered part of my "thankful" blogs leading up to Thanksgiving in two days. I finally decided that I would make it a thankfulness post and put my blogging powers to the ultimate test. Today's blog is brought to you be the letter... C.

C... for Christopher.

Yesterday, Mr. Christopher Warren Gaffer had a rather difficult day.He is almost 19 months old and baby gates are useless for this future Gymnast Olympian. He barrels over the gates with ease and can turn the house upside down in a matter of moments.

His day yesterday began at 9am when he and his brother snuck down the stairs. Christopher made his way to the kitchen, leaving behind the gate, scaling the kitchen counter, and retrieving his morning poptart. While eating he managed to throw his brother's toy exclaiming that Dean was "bad, bad". Not longer after breakfast he disappeared up the stairs where our bedrooms are located. I followed in hot pursuit but not before he was able to locate Tyler's travel size bottles of antibacterial hand soap. He poured this sparkly pear berry delight on the top of his head and had scrubbed it in before I was able to remove the bottle from his hand. Of course then mommy was "bad, bad" and was rewarded with shrill baby screams as I carted him down the stairs for a quick wash down in the bathroom. He took a little danger breather for about 45 minutes before lunch, but have no fear, his mischief returned.

For lunch I made them hot dogs instead of nuggets (insert alarmed gasp here) and although it was not their "normal" lunch time special they both seemed to enjoy them. As I was eating my lunch, Christopher came to me with a piece of hot dog sticking out of his mouth and he was making a gagging noise. I didn't even flinch and removed the piece from his mouth assuming that was what was causing his gag reflex. But he continued to gag. Before I had the opportunity to freak out, I turned him diagonally facing down and beat his back, torpedo shooting a piece of hot dog across the room. He happily walked away while I composed myself and managed not to throw up everywhere from the shock of the situation.

Not long after the impromptu Heimlich demonstration, I decided to lay him down for a nap. Dean and I listened to him walk around upstairs for a little while but soon all was quiet and I knew he was asleep. Dean started to drift and I felt like I deserved a nap as well. But at 3:30, the house was back in full swing as the school kids returned home and Christopher began to stir upstairs. I climbed the stairs to our room and as I opened up the door, I knew immediately what Christopher had been doing before he decided to rest and sleep. He had demolished my room, scattering "contraceptive devices" all over the floor, throwing out clothes, and removing blankets and pillows from the bed. And yet when I entered, he was innocently sitting in his pack and play crib, quietly sucking on his pacifier with his blanket wrapped around him like a toga. Nice, buddy, very nice.

He then proceeded to scream at me for most of the afternoon and early evening because his mother is obviously incapable of giving him the "right" beverage in his sippy cup. He rounded out the night with three helpings of rotisserie baked chicken and a naked run through the living room after bath time. And just when I was sure that he could not get into any more trouble so close to bedtime, he decided to bathe himself with a Clorox wipe (see Friday's thankfulness post) and then taste it as well.

And voila... for the reasons detailed to you from our events yesterday and many more... today I am thankful for....

Thankfully, I did not have to call poison control yesterday. But Christopher's siblings are not as innocent as you may think. When Sierra was about his age, I called because she decided to eat a bright pink paintball. When Dean was about Christopher's age, I called because I accidentally confused the dosage on some antibiotic and cough syrup he was taking for an infection and I was afraid I had over-dosed my son. So quite honestly, poison control is already in my "contact list" on my cell phone. Sad? Perhaps, but with this crew you can never be too prepared. And that's a fact.

And just to prove the necessity of having poison control readily "on-hand", I caught Christopher with a cup of laundry detergent today and was able to intercede before he consumed his cup of pretty blue drink. Again, mommy was "bad, bad", but he'll get over it and be thankful one day that mommy prevented him from ingesting potentially toxic liquid.

As has been my "M.O" with these blogs, the direct scripture reference that comes to mind today is from 1 Corinthians 10:13, which says "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.".

Christopher is tempted on a daily basis to create and cause mischief and disaster wherever he goes. But aren't we all? None of us are perfect and we are all tempted on a daily basis to participate in ungodly behaviors. But THANKFULLY, we know that for every temptation we may encounter, that God provides us with a "way out". What does that mean? It means that there is always a way to change your course, to move in a different direction, to avoid that temptation and thus avoid the sin and consequence.

At this point, Christopher is not old enough to let his conscience be his guide. But he will learn, hopefully soon before his mommy goes gray at the tender age of 28. But you are. Are you purposefully putting yourself in situations that could lead you to sin? God has provided a way out, take it! Don't compromise your faith and integrity for a little pleasure in the moment. Stand firm, flee temptation, and further develop your relationship with a Father that loves you more than you could ever imagine.

Pursuing that deeper relationship with Christ is the ultimate "poison control" and you should take advantage of the preventative measures available to you so that you might avoid the destruction of a sin filled life.

As for Christopher.
He is teaching me a whole new style of parenting, one that includes more precautionary measures than I have ever had to take with the others. Hopefully we avoid any more dangerous encounters this week, but with this guy, I wouldn't bet on it.


  1. no more hotdogs at my house

  2. poor papa, I knew you would not like that part of the story. no more hotdogs at my house for awhile either!